A piece of my heart grew pink angel wings & was given a halo on April 22, 2011. After fighting cancer for more than half of her short little life, EB is now painting the skies her signature color at times and I'm sure she's driving the angels bonkers. I think about that precious blue eyed spunky babygirl every single day. I look outside when the sun sets for an "EB pink" sky and after rainstorms I look for rainbows. I watched her hide from her daddy on the playground when it was time to go home, light up when her Mee Maw and Pee Paw came to pick her up, and laugh when her mommy came to get her. I watched her cry because her head hurt. After she was diagnosed and operated on, I watched her move her eyes because that's all she could do. I watched her fight that horrible disease called cancer. Watched with amazement and awe as she learned to walk, talk, and be a child again and beat the odds. I held her one last time during her final weeks and held her hand for as long as I could. I kissed her beautiful cheek one more time before we all laid her to rest and now I see her presence in the sky. I miss her so much my heart breaks but it was a blessing to be able to know and love such a special child. I was her "Nannah" and she was my lil' hero. It's been a little over 3 months since God led EB to heaven but that hurt is still very much there. I still wear the t-shirts made in her honor, smile when I see her signs on the road, & cherish every memory I have of her and with her. Not many people know this, but Q & I tied the knot outside of the courthouse right beside her sign. It was completely unintentional but I think that was God's way of letting me know that EB was there in spirit. She's with me everday though, she lives in my heart :)
EB has made the biggest impact on my life. She taught me how to be grateful and to never take anything or anyone for granted. She taught me what it really meant to love someone. I try so hard not to be selfish by wanting her here but I miss that smile, that diva attitude, and those beautiful blue eyes. I miss her pinching me, calling me "Nannah", her hugs, her kisses, and her stealing my drink and food. I'll keep every beautiful and precious moment spent with her with me forever. My sweet husband can vouch for me when I say that I talk about her daily. He's told me numerous times that he wishes he could've met her and that means so much to me. Q understands what EB is to me and what kind of affect she has in my life.
Erin Brynn touched more lives in her short 4 years of life than anyone will in their entire lifetimes. Although I'm crushed that she's not here physically and that she had to fight cancer, I'm thankful for the changes she made in me. I'm a better person because of her. She may not be on this earth but she's still here. She's everywhere and in everything I do. I love you Erin Brynn and I'll be seeing you in heaven when it's my time to go.
No comments:
Post a Comment